Day 10: Mental Strength

It has become quite clear to me that physically I am getting stronger.  When I first started Crossfit, I was using the 6 lb medicine ball, now I use the 10.  I used to use the smalled kettle bell, now I use a 25 lb weight, and sometimes instead of just lifting the bar, I actually add some weight onto it.  That is really awesome and I get a great sense of accomplishment when I move up, but there is one piece to Crossfit that I want to talk about.

The Mental Aspect of Crossfit

I knew coming into Crossfit I would hate the workouts.  My exercise history consists of Workout DVD's, Elliptical, Swimming, and Dance Central...all Aerobic. 

I remember Day 1 of Elements doing the work out and wanting to do the most logical thing after the class, kill my husband.  In his defense he didn't MAKE me join Crossfit, but it still felt like his fault.  After my anger was gone, I would cry.  Yes.  That is correct.  I would cry.  I didn't want to quit, but I new this was going to be insanely hard for me to get through.

Like all things, I had good days, where I rocked the work out and felt like a freaking superstar, and then there were days when I was ready to walk out and quit. 

I quickly learned that when Dennis was done with a work out and I still have reps to do, if he came over to me and "cheered me on" it would infuriate me.  I felt as if he was patronizing me, or some how mocking the fact that he was done and I was not.  So he quickly learned, to just let me be. 

Today I had a "bad" day where I got through the work out, got into my car, called Dennis and just started balling.  This week has been especially tough.  I had zero time to recover for Laurie's wedding, I had to prepare all my meals for the week, we have a big Philly weekend this weekend, and on top of all that I'm trying to be social.  Combined with the pressure of losing weight. 

I'm not trying to gain any body's sympathy here, but THIS IS THE HARDEST thing I've done, ever.  It's out of my comfort zone, and the trainers are constantly pushing me to be better.

I know for a fact that part of me is afraid of succeeding, I've gone through this before in the past, and I don't know how to fix it.

I found a really awesome quote that really hit me hard:

"To get what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done."

Skill:

4 Rounds

1 Min Row

1 Min Run

1 Min Jump Rope

WOD:

"FRAN"

21-15-9

THRUSTERS 35 lbs

PULLUPS

11:49