A Trip Down Memory Lane

Since I'm going through something completely new to me physically and emotionally (pregnancy) I didn't know what to expect. 

And the timing probably couldn't have been worse.  (No offense future baby!).

In the grand scheme of things, I was just getting my feet wet with Crossfit, morphing from a beginner to a slightly more experienced fitter, and with my running goal so close in sight, and not to mention my body finally 90% beach ready, it all came to a halt. 

Pregnancy is brutal!

Overall, it hasn't been horrible, it's just a completely different animal and part of me is scared of what I'm becoming during it.

Instead of getting up at 5:30 in the morning to either WOD or run, I'm snoozing as late as possible before having to get up to work and instead of rushing out of work to get to the 5pm WOD, I'm rushing home so I can get to bed.

Instead of making sure my meals are paleo friendly, I'm eating pretty healthy, but not feeling guilty if I don't. 

Each day hoping to see my weight go down, I'm getting bigger and feeling more and more gross about how I look.  It's mentally devastating. 

Yes I could still be hard core dieting or working out, but it was challenging enough when I was not pregnant, and growing a baby adds a whole new level to it. 

So with only a few months left, I'm really hoping that after baby is here, I make it a priority to get right back to it and pick off not right where I left off, but to start off slow and make my way back.  I'm hoping for a January start.  Crossfit and Running. 

Curious as to when I started my running training, I went to my Digital Mustard facebook page and read through all my posts.  And I almost lost it.  Was that really me?  I was obsessed and more importantly, I was working so hard! 

Immediately I felt so happy that I, even though I didn't know I was doing it, was documenting how I felt about doing great on a WOD, terrible on a WOD, running, eating, and balancing my life with these new things.

I saw some posts about keeping things honest about not doing something as well as I should, or not being able to make it to a WOD.  I guess as the manager of the page I didn't really look back on what I posted, but today I did, and I have to really pat myself on the back.

All those times that I thought I wasn't doing good enough or felt like what I was doing wasn't enough I wish I looked back at my posts about all the accomplishments I was proud enough to post about.

It helped me realize how far I had come from where I started and even though I'm down and out right now, I know that with a lot of work, I can get back to where I was (even with a little baby!).

So to Karen past, thank you for being who you were and all the posts and blogs you wrote, it was fun going back to the beginning and reliving all those moments, good and bad.